“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.”

If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.

Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’

You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.

All mothers are working mothers.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

Truth is to act out of the best of ourselves.

I think the best partner you can have is someone who makes you want to be the best form of yourself.

You know your the best when people you don’t know hate you.

I think playing against [Lionel Messi] is pretty difficult. Playing by the side of the best of the world is always good. Things get easier. And if I have to win, may it be by Messi’s side. It would be great.

I want to continue modeling and do the best that I can with that.

I work on instinct. It’s my best adviser.

Shooting for the top will bring out the best that’s in you.

Really, the novelist has the best casting since he doesn’t have to cope with the actors and all the rest.