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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.

Alan King

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING

Alongside Dictionary Milton Party Took Tremendous Vaudeville
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING

Business Course Have Hook Learn Survive
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING

Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING

Caught Day Fire House Other
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING

Better Father Parent
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING

Amazing Away Call Comedy Get Hard Laugh Once Turn
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING

Bigotry Father First Oppression Read Talk Think Time
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING

High Out School Throw
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING

Father Help Leave Not True
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING

Allow Being Comeback Easy Father
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING

Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING

Egg Except Food Life Only Pleasure Salami Second Sex
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING

Better Salami Sex Slice Thickly
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft

When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.

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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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