We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KINGWhen I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
More Alan King Quotes
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING