And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KINGAs a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
More Alan King Quotes
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING -
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING -
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING -
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING -
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING -
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING