Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KINGLarry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
More Alan King Quotes
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING