“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.”

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

It’s never just a game when you’re winning.

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.

Always do whatever’s next.

Things will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.

Success comes when we wake up every day in that never-ending pursuit of why we do what we do.

Take courage; pain’s extremity soon ends.

We have to keep fighting until the end.

My decision to end my marriage was such a risk to lose ratings and lose my fan base. I had to take that risk for my inner peace and to be happy with myself.

Without love, there is no reason to know anyone, for love will in the end connect us to our neighbors, our children and our hearts.

Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end.

There cannot be a happy ending to the fight between the raging gods and humans.