Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLINLet a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN