Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARXHumour is reason gone mad.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX