I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX






