God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGANYou can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN