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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Related Topics

Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Listening Myself Pain Talk
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Children Dog Funny Rich
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Confusion Father Myself Name
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Death Myself People
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Clothes Order Perfection Work
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Case Lost Number
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beautiful Eyes
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself Sick Yourself
In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Human Race Yourself
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Evidence Friendship Hands Myself

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