I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






