“With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.”

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.

Sometimes a little brain damage can help.

Life is tough, then you die.

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.

Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.

It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence.

Those who have invested the most are the last to surrender.

I know If I score we’re going to win the match.

I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.

If there is only one thing in my life that I am proud of, it’s that I’ve never been a kept woman.

Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind for they are the weeds that strange confidence.

I’m as proud of what we don’t do as I am of what we do.

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.