My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARXIf I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX