Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLINInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN -
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN







