A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I told you I was sick.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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