Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGAN