In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN