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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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