If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN