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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.

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Death Eat Hungry Myself

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Come Myself Quiet
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Sea Sick Tree
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Beautiful Eyes
A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Knowledge Learning One Liner Wisdom
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Coward Hero Legs Myself
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
Its all in the mind, you know.
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Mindset One Liner Yourself
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Food Invention Reason
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Farm Hands Himself Wife
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Appearance Funny Myself Time

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