I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN