A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN