A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I told you I was sick.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN