I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN