I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN