There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN