Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






