I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN