God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN