Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGANI told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN