Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGANHer mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN