Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGANHer mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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I told you I was sick.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN