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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Related Topics

Occasion Protection

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Education Funny Start
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Chance Happiness Money Myself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Children Dog Funny Rich
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Appearance Funny Myself Time
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Listening Myself Pain Talk
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Death Myself People
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Body Myself Time
In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Human Race Yourself
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Mindset One Liner Yourself
If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Eat Hungry Myself
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Clothes Order Perfection Work
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself

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