We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGANContraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN