Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGANContraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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