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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Related Topics

Occasion Protection

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Himself Man
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Far Laughter Live Time
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Case Lost Number
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beautiful Eyes
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Children Dog Funny Rich
Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Herself Home Mom Woman
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Listening Myself Pain Talk
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Mindset One Liner Yourself

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