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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet

Bagwalas

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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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