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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went

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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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