Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDWe sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD