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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation

Bagwalas

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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Age Food Kitchen Life Mirror Over Tab Taken
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife

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