Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDWe sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
-
-
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD