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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

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Bury Clear Dead Dinner Food Phase Serve Table Three

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The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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Body Doctor Hope Look Reincarnation Said Yes
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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Descend Foolish Listen Long Mother Very
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Accidental Day Enjoy Ever Gin Iron Only Steam Time
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Best Eat Getmrid Kitchen Odor Out Way
You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Admit Away Boyfriend Drive Forty Live Mile Sex Tremendous
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
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Attack Country Dog Even Hear Ible Lisp Mail One People Person Piddle
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Bed Fight Go never Stay Up

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