“Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.”

I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

In most states you can get a driver’s license when you’re sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.

I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.

I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.

I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.

The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

Once you discover that you can, then you must. And it’s not easy. You have to take direct steps.

The only problem – once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.

Once a Raider, always a Raider.

There are people who are born and die and never once are aware of their breath going in and out of their body. That’s how far away they live from themselves

Once you have a staff of prepared, intelligent, and energetic people, the next step is to motivate them to be creative.

I certainly love a boogie and once the music starts I’m usually one of the first out there on the dance floor.

The moth don’t care when he sees the flame He might get burned, but he’s in the game And once he’s in, he can’t go back He’ll beat his wings till he burns them black.

Maybe I’m just farsighted. The further away something is, the better I can see it but once it gets close, I lose sight of it.