“By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.”

Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.

Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’

You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.

All mothers are working mothers.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.

Poetry gives most pleasure when only generally and not perfectly understood.

But I should be very sorry if an interpretation founded on a most conjectural scientific hypothesis were to get fastened to the text in Genesis…

Enveloped in a common mist, we seem to walk in clearness ourselves, and behold only the mist that enshrouds others.

I stand in the mist and cry, thinking of myself standing in the mist and crying, and wondering if I will ever be able to use this experience in a book.

It is the duty of righteous men to make war on all undeserved privilege, but one must not forget that this is a war without end.

My hunch is yes. It would certainly do something for those who are most ruthless, who tend to make others most miserable.

So one of the most unique things on screen in American movies today is everyday behavior.

The most difficult things that come to us are to our advantage from God’s side. When we come to the place of impossibilities, it is the grandest place for us to see the possibilities of God.