“By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.”

Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’

You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.

All mothers are working mothers.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

I’ve always been singing. Since day one. I started doing musical theater and you have to sing in musical theater and so that’s where I got most of my training.

The Premier League is one of the most difficult in the world. There’s five, six, or seven clubs that can be the champions.

If you get those two aspects right, most rugby matches will work in your favour.

For my students who are trying to learn the craft of writing in a writing class – contemporary literature is what’s most useful.

To be most effective, flattery is always best applied with a trowel.

How do the stems connect to the roots?’ ‘Where is the mist coming from?’ ‘Why does one tree seem darker than another?’ These questions are implicitly asked and answered in the process of sketching.

I watched the land for as long as I could, until it disappeared behind its shawl of mist.

The heart fills with warm rain that turns to mist and evaporates through a colder artery.