The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
PHYLLIS DILLERThe best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
More Phyllis Diller Quotes
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Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
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Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
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I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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