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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

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Hat On Screw Wrinkle

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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.
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You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
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