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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle

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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
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The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
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