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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Related Topics

Bd Commemorate Cook Country Kid Person Thanksgiving Through

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
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You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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Constant Difference Other Same Song Technology Thought Wine Year
If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
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Also Career Felt Husband Marriage Mix Work
We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
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Attack Country Dog Even Hear Ible Lisp Mail One People Person Piddle

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