I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAINThe dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN