In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINThe dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
MARK TWAIN -
I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAIN -
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
MARK TWAIN -
I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
MARK TWAIN -
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAIN -
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
MARK TWAIN -
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
MARK TWAIN -
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
MARK TWAIN -
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN -
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
MARK TWAIN -
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN