What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINWhat is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINLet us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAINYou can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
MARK TWAINAlways acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAINIf you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAINWhen you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
MARK TWAINThe secret to getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAINMan is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
MARK TWAINAll right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAINA successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
MARK TWAINThe more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
MARK TWAINKeep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
MARK TWAINName the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAINIn a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
MARK TWAINIf animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
MARK TWAINIf you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
MARK TWAIN