A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAINIf Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
MARK TWAIN