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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.

Mark Twain

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN

Appreciation Happiness Joy One Liner Value
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAIN

Bank Banker Fellow Lend Rain Shine Sun Sunshine Umbrella
I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
MARK TWAIN

Happen Humour Life Live Terrible
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
MARK TWAIN

Dog Dreamss Gentleman Heaven Hope Man One Liner
Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
MARK TWAIN

Cease Exist Illusion Life Live
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Man Savage World
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN

Certain Education Ignorance Miserable Path
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
MARK TWAIN

Animal Cruel Man Pain Pleasure
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN

Information Media Newspaper
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MARK TWAIN

Eat Fight Food Life Secret Success
Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
MARK TWAIN

Eat Frog Funny Humour Morning
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
MARK TWAIN

Animal Dog Fellow Grace Speak
All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN

Break Up Hell Leaving Resignation
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
MARK TWAIN

History One Liner Past Repeat Rhyme
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Religion Wisdom
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN

Brave Courage Dog Flight Inspirational

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.

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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.

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