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It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

Mark Twain

When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN

Advice Angry One Liner Patience Swear
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
MARK TWAIN

Animal Blush Funny Man One Liner
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
MARK TWAIN

Clothes Influence Man Naked People Society
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
MARK TWAIN

Absorb Book Goodness Mystery Room Skin Wisdom
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN

Appreciation Happiness Joy One Liner Value
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
MARK TWAIN

Charm Desire Forbidden Speak
Classic – a book which people praise and don’t read.
MARK TWAIN

Book Praise Read
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN

Fun Funny Human Nature Humour Kiding
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN

Die Inspirational Live Sorry
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
MARK TWAIN

Deserve Honor Wisdom
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
MARK TWAIN

Animal Dog Fellow Grace Speak
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
MARK TWAIN

Depend Eyes Focus Imagination Life One Liner
All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN

Break Up Hell Leaving Resignation
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
MARK TWAIN

Acid Angry Harm Hurt Vessel
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAIN

Give Up Human Nature Humour Smoking Time World
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN

Effect Let Go Pause Time

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

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It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

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