In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINMan is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
MARK TWAIN