We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARXWhile money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX