Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXWhile money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX