Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARXWhile money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX