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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

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Choose Happiness Misery Money

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Love One Liner Reading
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX

Anatomy Judgement Poverty
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX

Fly Love Money Reality Truth
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX

Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX

Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Interesting Reality Sense Theory
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX

Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX

Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX

Insult One Liner Respect
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking

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