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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.

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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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