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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.

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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Insult One Liner Respect
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Army Contradiction Intelligence Military One Liner
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Huff Humour Leave
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Finding Happiness Hard Time Healing Laugh
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Angry Funny One Liner Towel

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