Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX