Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARXIf you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX






