If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARXYou can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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All geniuses die young.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX






