I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARXA child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX






