Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXHollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX