If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXHollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX






