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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Bad Day Evening Wonderful
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Children Fetch Funny Understand
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Love Man Romance Room
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Children Love Mother
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Equality Freedom Prejudices
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Club Freedom Member
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Funny Missing One Liner Women
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Enough Learning Mistake Yourself

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