Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXQuote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX