Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARXBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARXWhatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARXHere’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARXAll people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARXIf you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXI love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXNo one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARXA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARXThe only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXMy mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXEveryone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX