Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX