Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXA very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARXWe’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARXIf you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARXLife is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARXThe only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXWe left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARXI have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARXWhile money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX