Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXOnce I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXIf you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARXHe may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARXA very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARXI love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXI find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXAny place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARXLearn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARXOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX