The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARXMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX






