Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARXIf a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX