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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

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Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX

Interest Naked Sex True
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Book Education Humour Read Room Television
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Children Fetch Funny Understand
Time wounds all heels.
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Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Reading Television
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Army Justice Military Music One Liner
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Attitude Life Principles Rules
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater

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