Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX