Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX