Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX






