Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX