In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXLaugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARXIf you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARXSomebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARXMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARXLife is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARXAge is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARXHumour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARXOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARXWhen you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX