Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARXDon’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX






