The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARXDon’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX