Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXJust give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX






