Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXJust give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX