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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.

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Book Comfortable Dog Goodness Peace Woman

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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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