A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX