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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.

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Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama

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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Huff Humour Leave
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Bore Hole Insult Run
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Funny Leadership Man Women
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Against Attitude
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Children Fetch Funny Understand
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hang Head Home One Liner Place

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