Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX