Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX