If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX